You Gotta Problem? Call Roxanne

I work for a non-profit in NYC. I won't get into too many details but I will say that I oversee a computer lab utilized mainly by crackheads, alcoholics, and bums. There are a FEW people there who are actually about something and actually working towards something. A majority of our clients however just fuck around on facebook.

I LOVE it when people that are actually about something come into my job. It makes my day less ignorant. However, sometimes people need to get real about what they're doing, and where they really are in their life.

There is an old-school hip-hop star who comes to my job to utilize the computers. I won't blow up spots, but he was in a group, and he was named after a brand of clothes he always wore in like 1983. Well, it's 2012, and this guy came to my job yesterday to use a desktop. The thing is, we were closed for a computer class that we were teaching, so the cyber cafe was only open to people taking the class.
Anywho, said rapper (from now on let's call him Osh-Kosh) came through and was shocked when the door was locked and he saw the sign. He asked if I could let him in for a moment and I did, mainly because I know he's doing his thing. Also, he was probably hot from the bright ass orange shirt he was wearing....














Now this is where I will remind everyone that it probably is not that smart to mess with a perceptive Buddhist with an anger management problem....
Osh-Kosh proceeds to come in, and go on a giant rant about how he has an important deadline to meet (he started his own breast cancer awareness charity), and he was expecting to be on the computer for a few hours, and now his plans are all messed up because of US.

I apologized before I proceeded to cuss his ass out in numerical order.

1. I'm not quite sure why a computer lab is responsible for one's own procrastination. It's called a gamble, you took one and you fucking lost. Either roll again or get the fuck away from the table.
2. You can use the wi-fi but you can't use the desktops sir....YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKIN LAPTOP!?
3. YOU ARE FUCKING OSH KOSH! You don't have any royalties or notin? I saw yo ass on Unsung last week! Dude....
4. Wait! You mean to tell me that you don't get paid any money for wearing Osh Kosh? You've been known as this brand for 30 years, and you don't get paid a dime? Homie....
5. So, you mean to tell me you can't get Hot 97 or Kiss to play your song 2 or 3 times just so you can have five dollars in your pocket? You can't pull the "for the sake of hip-hop!" line!?
6. Not tryna be a bitch Osh Kosh, but with all the catepillars and robot dance moves you busted out with Lisa Lisa you should have a fuckin laptop.

That or call one of the Roxanne's...